


Epic Rap Battles of History: Brock Lesnar vs Beast

by UltimateWarriorFan4Ever



Category: Beauty and the Beast (1991), Beauty and the Beast (2017), Beauty and the Beast - All Media Types, Epic Rap Battles of History (Web Series), World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Crossover, Parody, rapping
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 11:25:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 859
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11012469
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/UltimateWarriorFan4Ever/pseuds/UltimateWarriorFan4Ever
Summary: What happens when WWE's Beast Incarnate takes on Disney's Beast? It's a battle of the monsters as Brock Lesnar takes on Beast from "Beauty and the Beast" in this epic crossover of Epic Rap Battles of History! WHO'LL WIN? YOU DECIDE! Features cameos by Paul Heyman and Belle.





	Epic Rap Battles of History: Brock Lesnar vs Beast

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own World Wrestling Entertainment, Disney or Epic Rap Battles of History. World Wrestling Entertaiment and its wrestlers are owned and associated by it's chairman, Vince McMahon and Epic Rap Battles of History is owned by Peter Shukoff and Lloyd Ahlquist. Since you all love Epic Rap Battles as much as the next guy, I brought yet another battle for you all. This time we have The Beast Incarnate, Brock Lesnar, taking on the Beast (or Prince Adam as you Disney fangirls would call him) in a rap battle of Beasts!

**EPIC RAP BATTLE!**

**Brock Lesnar!**

**vs.**

**Beast!**

**BEGIN**

**Brock Lesnar:**

_This is Brock Lesnar straight in the house_

_This next big thing's gonna crush you like Mickey Mouse_

_I'm like an F5 wrecking everything in sight_

_I don't come to win hearts, I came here for a fight_

_You say you're a beast, I say you're nothing but a dog_

_Who deserves to get put down in a smog_

_I conquered MMA and wrestling in a sitting_

_Just like I'll conquer your furry ass, ain't just that fitting?_

_Who'd ever love a beast such as you? Are you sick?_

_That hot Belle bitch can't even suck your dick_

_I eat, sleep, conquer everything in repeat_

_Sooner or later Beast, you'll be a piece of dogmeat_

_Didn't I tell you that I'm also a hunter_

_You think Gaston's bad, you ain't never seen thunder_

_Cause I strike everything and break dem arms_

_You won't survive this storm, so sound the alarms!_

_I'm the Beast Incarnate Brock Fuckin Lesnar_

_And you're just a pooch with a badly itch_

_So go back to your mansion with your hairy ass_

_I'll take your girl Belle straight to Suplex City, Bitch!_

**Beast:**

_Oh what a shame shame shame, Brock Lesnar_

_Your rhymes are just as crap as a rat turd_

_I used to be vain and quite so heartless_

_What are you? A poor man's Hulk, regardless?_

_You really wanna call yourself an incarnate Beast?_

_To me, you'll be my mother fuckin' feast_

_How dare you call my beautiful lovely Belle a bitch?_

_I'll go Triple H on you and bury you in a ditch_

_Oh won't you check that out, my rose has finally bloomed_

_So watch me rhyme in Beast mode, now you're fuckin' doomed_

_You battled in an octagon? We'll ain't that a shame_

_My face scares more than your muscles, this I claim_

_So you gonna bring me pain, well take my advice_

_You enter my castle, you won't get out alive_

_I'll make sure you'll get mauled stitch after stitch_

_You won't be my guest, you'll be my bitch_

_I'm a tale as old as time, I ain't totally new_

_So let's see what your friend's got, that little tubby Jew!_

Suddenly, Brock Lesnar's client Paul Heyman came out and stood beside the Beast Incarnate. He didn't look very pleased by Beast's rap, so he gave out a little rap of his own to the Beast himself.

**Paul Heyman:**

_Ladies and gentleman, my name is P-Heyman_

_And I'm the client of the beast who's really slaying_

_I ain't talking about your furry ass, silly dog in vain_

_Cause Mr. Brock Lesnar's gonna bring the pain_

_At 'Mania XXX, he slayed a Deadman's streak_

_Brock wasn't sweating at all, he wasn't totally weak_

_So Beast, take time to watch what you say or do_

_Because big Brock Lesnar ain't a big total fool_

_No matter if it's in the ring or the octagon_

_He'll slay your furry ass so you're very long gone_

_This ain't 1991, this is 2016_

_And this Beast Incarnate will rip your spleen_

_Don't believe me, just ask that suckish John Cena_

_He'll rip your bloody skin apart, you won't call PETA_

_You think you still have life, you piece of dog chow_

_Brock F5-ed your ass, so say so long now_

_You're no longer a tale as old as time_

_Cause your time ran out you piece of slime_

_So please lay down and go play dead, sir_

_'Cause you got conquered by BRRRRRRRRROCK LESSSSSSSNAR!_

As if the match looked like it was over, the three men all came in and saw Belle, who was dressed elegantly in her golden dress. She soon came down from the stairs and approached both Brock, Paul and the Beast. Suddenly, the little "Beauty and the Beast" instrumental was cut off by Belle who put on a hat, glasses and a gold chain that said 'Beauty', as she rapped in front of Heyman and Lesnar.

**Belle:**

_Yo what's up with all this hate, it ain't so pretty_

_You think you two takin' me to ol' Suplex City?_

_The Beast don't take lightly to your bullshit rhymes_

_He'll carve you out like a baked 'tato with chives_

_My beast has bloomed, but your rose has fallen_

_Just like your broken bones is gonna hit rock bottom_

_You think Vinnie Mac'll save your ass in a sinch?_

_There's no running from Beast, you won't even pass, bitch!_

_What's up with that tattoo? Did you lose a bet?_

_Looks like a very badly drawn penis._

_And let's talk about Paul, that poorly drawn walrus_

_Looking at his double neck makes me so nautious_

_So allow me to vomit all around your greatness_

_And allow my beastly hunk to claw you faceless_

_I see the beauty inside of people, I don't see them as slaves_

_That job's fit for you two, you'll work to your graves_

_We have the greatest love story that's ever told_

_So tap all you want, you can't break his hold_

_We're the Beauty and Beast, a love that totally lasts_

_So bend unexpectedly, we just whipped your ass!_

**Author's Note:**

> WHO WON?
> 
> WHO'S NEXT?
> 
> YOU DECIDE!
> 
> EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!


End file.
